


You Don't Love Me

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, No Slash, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-25
Updated: 2005-02-25
Packaged: 2018-12-26 23:51:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12069510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin deals with him and Brian breaking up...





	You Don't Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

_You tell me you don’t love me over a cup of coffee  
And I just have to look away_

**We're sitting at the Liberty diner. It's over. He doesn't love me. He has never loved me. He doesn't want to see me again. I'm shocked. He tells me the locks and alarm codes have been changed. I look down at my coffee cup absently. There is no warmth in his words, no remorse.**

 

_A million miles between us_  
Planets crashing to dust  
I just let it fade away 

**I reach over to touch his hand and he pulls away from me. When did that happen? When did I stop being able to reach him? He leaves me there with my box of things. I am too stunned to cry.**

 

_I’m walking empty streets hoping we might meet  
I see your car parked on the road_

**It seems like an eternity since I saw him last. I spotted his car in front of Michael’s store. I held my breath in the hopes that I would see him. He drove off before I got the chance.**

 

_The light on at your window_  
I know for sure that you’re home  
But I just have to pass on by 

**I feel like I'm stalking him again. I walk by his loft every night, sometimes several times a night. I hope to catch a glimpse of him in one of the windows. I tried my key, but the locks really are changed. Eventually I have to walk away.**

 

_So no course we can’t be friends_  
Not while I’m still this obsessed  
I guess I always knew the score  
This is how our story ends 

**Daphne tells me to accept things and move on. In my mind I know she's right but tell it to my heart. It still aches for him. My body screams for his touch. My soul is dying from his absence. I love him. He is everything to me.**

 

_I smoke your brand of cigarettes_  
And pray that you might give me a call  
I lie around in bed all day just staring at the walls 

**I've tried to find anyway possible to stay connected to him. I'm using the same products he does. I stare at a picture of us and beg him to call. How's it so easy for him to dismiss me like this?**

 

_Hanging round bars at night_  
Wishing I had never been born  
And give myself to anyone who wants to take me home 

**Back at Woody’s I sit here and drink shot after shot trying to numb my pain. I reflect on my life and get even more depressed. Distant father, gimp hand, few friends, love of my life hates me, and I have no real home. I let the first trick that approaches blow me in the alley.**

 

_So no course we can’t be friends_  
Not while I’m still feel like this  
I guess I always knew the score  
This is where our story ends 

**I'm in a perpetual haze, just going through the motions trying not to feel. My smile is gone. The sparkle in my eyes has disappeared. When anyone asks where they've gone, I just shrug.**

 

_You left behind some clothes  
My belly summersaults when I pick them off the floor_

**I find one of his shirts in my closet. I immediately pick it up. It still smells like him, like his cologne and sweat. I sleep with it every night. That shirt is my life line.**

 

_My friends all say they’re worried_  
I’m looking far too skinny  
I’ve stopped returning all their calls 

**Debbie is giving me a hard time about my appearance. She says I'm not eating enough and starting to look like one of those starving kids in Africa. She now has Ted and Emmett calling me trying to take me out to dinner. I don’t want to be anyone’s charity case.**

_So no course we can’t be friends_  
Not while I’m still so obsessed  
I want to ask where I went wrong  
But don’t say anything at all 

**I'm drunk. I'm perched outside his building and I want answers. Why did he drop me so suddenly? Did I mean so little to him as a person that he had no regard for my feelings? After everything we've been through, did he not have the decency to make sure I was okay? But as he walks up with his latest trick, his face evident of his disapproval of my presence, I freeze. I couldn't ask my questions. I couldn't demand my answers. I just turn and stagger home.**

_It took a cup of coffee_  
To prove that you don’t love me

**I'm back at the diner sitting in the same booth…alone. I'm stirring my cup of coffee…and finally I begin to cry…**

“What the fuck are you watching?”

I turn and see Brian walking into the loft as the last melancholy note plays from the television. I turn back to the screen and see a woman sitting in a booth crying as she stirs her coffee. I realize I'm crying too.

“Christ Justin! What did I tell you about watching those lesbionic programs?”

I wipe the tears from my eyes as Brian grabs the remote and turns the television off.

“Next thing I know you’ll be watching Lifetime or Oxygen or some other women’s programming. I already caught you watching The L Word a few weeks ago.”

“It was MTV,” I finally explain.

“Was it that feminist MTV channel? I'm tempted to cancel our cable subscription.”

“You wouldn’t dare. The Nickelodeon and Disney channels for Gus alone prevent you from doing it.”

“Well, I'm definitely limiting your time spent with Melanie and Lindsey. They got your mind all screwed up.”

I stick my tongue out at him and he attacks me on the sofa.

“No more sappy chick shit, okay?”

“Okay,” I sigh as we properly begin our evening together.  


* * *

  
**_song is 'Cup of Coffee' by Garbage_ **


End file.
